Sex-Positive Spotlight on Kirsten Schultz

Sex-Positive Spotlight on Kirsten Schultz

Hi there!  Thanks for chatting {errr… writing with us?} today! The goal of this segment is to shine a spotlight on someone in the sex-positive community and see what you’re passionate about, the projects you’re working on, and what led you to sex-positivity.

Who are you?

I’m Kirsten! I’m a sexuality educator, activist, and writer. I do a lot around chronic illness/disability because I’ve been living in that realm since I was five. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and currently live in the Midwest. I do try to visit the ‘best coast’ as often as I can, though, to spend time with my sister and her kids. I’m married and we are living with two of the cutest guinea pigs to grace the planet, Gus Gus and Jaq.

What do you do?

First and foremost, I’m a writer. I write about my own health crud and how it affects everything and everyone around me (notstandingstillsdisease.com). One of the ways it does that is by affecting my sex life. Since I live with many conditions that started in my childhood, I wanted to create a separate space to talk about that, review toys, and provide educational resources. Chronic Sex offers a podcast, a weekly chat, and social media centered around how illness/disability affect self-esteem, relationships, sex, and sexuality. I’ve been lucky to present at a number of conferences, consult with several big name companies, and help people one-on-one. I’m also moving into some research stuff, too! All of this helps me get out a lot of activist feels as well, which is great as my health doesn’t always allow me to protest and such.

What brought you into the sex-positive community?

I think I’ve secretly always been a part of it. I just took a break for a while.

When I was in high school, I was always that friend who had condoms and would go with people to Planned Parenthood for moral support. I volunteered with them, working on administration and calls in the evening. I even wrote my senior paper in high school about the dichotomy between how the US doesn’t provide sexual education as well as European countries, but we continue to show sex throughout our media.

Around the time I graduated college, there were several rheumatic disease patients blogging that all spoke up about sex at the same time – myself included. Those posts have been some of the most viewed on our sites and have gotten incredibly positive feedback. By 2015, I thought having a chat on Twitter to talk about the intersections of illness/disability and everyday life might be helpful. It grew from there to a site that reaches way more people than I ever thought it would.

What are you most passionate about accomplishing with your work?

I think the biggest thing is being real. Sex is awesome and should be for everyone, regardless of abilities or conditions we face. Often, those of us with disabilities are infantilized or made to feel that we should just be grateful we are alive instead of fighting for an active and fulfilling sex life. Because of being real, I’ve been able to help people find their voices in relationships, discover more about their sexuality, and orgasm for the first time. Since helping people is what I love doing, I can’t ever see me stopping this work.

Was there a defining, or an “ah-ha!” moment of self-discovery around your sexuality that you can share with us?

I’ve always known that I was attracted to just about everyone, so when I came out as pansexual it wasn’t a surprise. In September of 2016, though, I finally understood more about my gender identity. I grew up very much a tomboy. When I was 12, I would use my uncle’s clothes and dress up like a man in a suit just to see how I would look (which was super cute btw). In college, I told my estranged mother that I felt like a man sometimes and she didn’t want to hear it. When a new show called Queer Ghost Hunters came out in 2016, I was incredibly excited to catch it. One of the people is genderqueer and I started learning more about gender identity and realized I was, too. Before I had come out to anyone, a fellow sex educator told me she loved my genderqueer look. Two months later, I came out online to everyone and have been working to feel more at home in my body.

What advice would you give your younger self when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships?

Stop being afraid of discrimination and makeout with more femmes! I never really got the chance to date, other women. I was so obsessed with being super feminine for a while and didn’t see how I was harming myself by only dating men – and abusive men at that. I wish I had learned to speak up more about the harm I was facing at home and in relationships. It would’ve given me a better emotional foundation.

What projects are you working on now?

So many! Chronic Sex is a constant project – reviews, chat topics, and getting the podcast back and running after the summer (my busiest period) is over. Our research arm is now up and running – ORCHIDS, or the Organization for Research on Chronic Illness, Disability, and Sexuality. As we’re just starting, our biggest focus is on improving how sex is discussed between patients and healthcare providers.

Where can we find you?

Facebook:

Kirsten Schultz on Facebook

Chronically Sexy on Facebook 

Twitter:

@Kirstie_Schultz

@ChronicSexChat

Instagram:

@KirBir

@Chronic_Self_Love

Pinterest

Kirsten Schultz on Pinterest

Chronic Sex on Pinterest

Sites:

Kirsten Schultz

Not Standing Still’s Disease

ChronicSex.org

OrchidResearch.org

Patreon:

patreon.com/kirstenisthecoolest

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We are a small grass roots sex blog and our mission is to sexually empower all humans, no matter their gender, race, orientation, religion, or walk of life. We are a community of open-minded, open-hearted, sexual beings who are working hard to make a positive impact in this body and sex shaming society.

About Take Back Your Sex

We are a small grass roots sex blog and our mission is to sexually empower all humans, no matter their gender, race, orientation, religion, or walk of life. We are a community of open-minded, open-hearted, sexual beings who are working hard to make a positive impact in this body and sex shaming society.

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