Sugar Mama…take Me away!!!

It was November of the year 2018 that I got a message from a woman in my Instagram handle. She was visiting Las Vegas with her husband for her birthday. They got a really nice hotel suite off the Vegas strip and were living like Queens and Kings for a week. She said she could have a ticket bought for me to join them over the weekend…I just had to say yes.

Down the rabbit hole Alixxxe goes…

So I did. 

And off I went. On a jet plane.

Leaving with only luck and possibility in sight…

The year 2018 was a nightmare for me…I have to tell you. 

I was a sex worker, getting divorced, in danger of losing my home, and in some of the worst and most profound depression I have ever been in. I thought a lot about suicide that year. It was a narrative I dealt with on the daily. Feelings I struggled to keep afloat from. As a result of my mental health and ego strength that year…I also developed an eating disorder. One where I pretty much just starved myself. It was very much in line with the way I felt…withered. Withered and just withering. Withered and just wanting to continue to wither away. 

So when I saw a DM in my Instagram inbox from a woman vacationing in Vegas with her husband {who I will respectfully call my Sugar Mama}

I jumped on it right away.

I may not had felt good but I looked good and I liked the thought of making my ex husband jealous. In fact, when I messaged him to ask whether or not he could take our kids for the upcoming weekend so I could go on the trip with my sugar mama…I was very honest with him about where I was going and with whom. 

One thing to know about me is I am impulsive by nature.

I have always been attracted to adventure and storytelling. I have been known to jump off rocks into the deep, to have wild one night stands and plentiful affairs, and to say and do things that garner others undivided attention.

Inside one of the many bathrooms of the Las Vegas suite we were staying in.

But in 2018, my wild streak was coming to an explosive head.

I was already doing wild things organically…but 18 was taking my inherently natural wild self and leveling it the fuck up!

The husband had so many pairs of shoes on his trip. That and he said he was buying more. He loved shoes. They were one of his passions.

One of my ex husbands favorite things to say to me used to be:

“Tanya, nothing you do surprises me anymore”

While they slept I snuck away and took photos of myself throughout the many rooms of the Las Vegas hotel suite.

Which should give you some clue about my regard for modesty.

But I swear as I got in that Lyft on the way to the airport…then as I boarded that plane…and even as I walked the airport terminal to baggage claim for my luggage…

I swear the one thing I kept saying to myself was:


Just what in the fuck are you actually doing here?” 

You see my divorce took from me a lot of things. And one of those things just happened to be my parenthood. My ex husband felt more like a dad to me than a partner at the end of our marriage {and certainly not in the hot daddy issues kinda way}. That and his family, his parents in particular, meant that even though I was an adult, I was very much someone’s kid. Someone’s wife. And I was representing someone’s family.

For all of this…I had to keep up appearances. And play my part.

But when my husband left me in early 2018…all that went away. I was crushed.

But I was also free. 


…I was basically a kid in a candy store.

Or better yet. That kid from the old 90’s “Home Alone” movie…but the minute he found out everyone was gone…

That VERY moment in time when he found out he was all alone in the house and could basically do anything he wanted to do.

So he did. 

This flight marked one of the very first times I was flying by myself since a long stint in depression and isolation. It felt very triumphant. I hate flying. But I also wanted desperately to fly away that year. Metaphorically speaking. Then I was asked if I wanted a plane ticket bought for me, randomly, by a stranger. The dichotomy wasn’t lost on me.

Given all of this…coupled with my state of affairs at the time, you best believe flying to Las Vegas to live like someone’s spoiled Princess for a weekend sounded like one hell of an adventure.

One I was desperately in need of!

This is a blurred shot of my Sugar Mama grabbing my ass from behind. You can see in my face how happy I am to be there. This is one of my favorite photos of myself.

So off I went!

The hotel suite had three levels, was connected to the main poo by a private patio, had a view of the Paris hotel, a waterfall in the main bathroom tub, and came with a butler. In my life, I have never stayed in such luxury. I felt like a Queen. A literal Goddess. It was incredible.

And I most certainly partied.

My sugar mama took this photo of me from the main bathroom tub. This was the view while you soaked. This bathtub also had a fountain that poured into it from the roof, like a waterfall. I have video of all this. Available over at
This room was on the bottom floor of the three story hotel suite and was connected to the hotels pool. It was massive with some of the swankiest and best looking decor I had ever seen of any hotel room. This room could easily accommodate 50 guests in it, it was that big. In fact, the whole suite was so big, the three of us never even used this room. This level contained the kitchen so we ate down here, and I disrobed and took photos in it of course, but besides that, it sat empty.
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The curtains in the main bedroom. She made me her muse here. I was so in love with these photos. AS much in love with them as this whole scene.. It felt like a movie. It was all so erotic and sexy. Truly one of the times of my life.
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I took these photos in bed while waiting on the couple to join me.
I am a stoner. And so were they! No other drugs. I was so relieved. Drugs can trigger me. But the whole weekend all we did was smoke weed. SO SO SO much weed. An endless supply of blunts, it was incredible. And painful. Unfortunately I got pretty dehydrated from the amount of weed I smoked this weekend and caught a little cold back in Los Angeles upon coming home. I learned a lesson though. Endless supplies of weed is not always a good thing. Always use discretion and listen to your body.

And played…

And it was okay.

In fact I was lucky. Cause not only was it okay, it was good.

Like REALLY good!

I was in the bathroom sneaking some content while they got ready and she came into the room. She wanted to know if I wanted her help. I could tell she wanted to photograph me so even though I like to photograph myself, alone, I let her. In multiple different rooms. In multiple different locations.. It was hands down one of the most exotic experiences of my life.
Expensive mimosa pedicures with my Sugar Mama.
Some of their jewels. They let me photograph it. I had never seen such a thick real gold chain.

She was after my feet.

She really wanted to do things to my feet. You have to understand my relief at that time. Of all the things she could have been after…of all the fetishes she could of wanted…and all she wanted was my feet. 

I mean, did we do other things too. Sure. But my feet. 

My feet was wear the money was at. 

This was a $500 dollar cake the couple bought back from a famous bakery in Las Vegas we happened upon when we were out fine dining one night. They brought it back to the hotel suite. I thought we were going to eat it. Nope. Instead we used it for a treat. The kind where I smashed my freshly pedicured feet into this ridiculously expensive cake and then she very sensually licked it off my feet for their own personal video. I unfortunately do not have that video as it was for their own personal files. But I saw it, it was fucking hot. The whole experience was a highly erotic one. I was lucky to be the Goddess to experience it.

She also made me her Muse. And I loved every single fucking minute of it. Can you tell?

But the three of us also had fun as well. Like genuine fun. I was surprised. I wasn’t expecting so much play time outside of play time. I mean sure I thought I was going to be a couples playtoy. But I honestly never thought genuine play was going to be so much a part of the deal.

Isn’t that funny?

I felt like Richie Rich.

You know how many times and ways as a native Southern Californian I have been to Vegas? SO many different ways.

It is hard to count.

The couple rented us scooters. A private company met us at the back of the hotel and dropped them off for us to pick up and use for the weekend. We literally walked no where. Instead we used these scooters to take us up and down the strip. To dinner. To breakfast. To shop. Literally, everywhere.
These Goddess feet of mine simply…did not walk.

But never like this.

I suffer from a lot of anxiety and I have to admit this was a tricky part of the trip for me. I don’t like to be showy in public and crowds can upset me. Plus the whole time we went down the strip on our scooters, people really looked at us. We even got some scooter hate. I had to navigate a lot of feelings to remain calm and collected. Plus they kept passing a blunt back and forth on the scooters. I was terrified of getting caught but also wanted to play with the cool kids. It was a lot.

They fed me so well that whole weekend.

The hotel suite came with a butler. We simply rang down and ordered what we wanted, then he brought it up to us, set up our dining, then waited outside the door of the suite in case we needed him. It was awkward but I felt so honored. I have never dined this way before.

And bought me gifts 🙂

The whole experience was magic. Pure magic.

They treated me like their Princess. Her especially. She was so protective of me. So good to me. Even sticking up for me once when hotel security yelled at me for my speed on the scooter. I was really drawn to her by the end of the weekend. I felt connected. I wanted more. I wanted to see her more. Even though I knew this was fleeting, I just felt so endeared and drawn to her because of how well she treated me.

I wanted to stay her friend. Or girlfriend even.

But I knew deep down inside this wasn’t sustainable and I was brought on for a fantasy.

For a birthday fantasy.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

So what did I do?

I delivered of course. I was a Dream.

I was a fantasy dream cum true!

I was proud of myself.

Job well done.

The weekend was not without its little snags here and there including me almost getting all three of us kicked out of the hotel for riding my scooter too fast and also having to deal with my own anxiety issues whilst seemingly having the time of my life {which I was, but still really anxious about it all, go figure}.

And of course I missed having a partner there. For so many years Vegas was a place my ex husband and I would escape to.

Being in Vegas for the first time without him didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would.

But it still bothered me, yes.

Beyond that, there was nothing in sin city that weekend but fun.

And fun was what I desperately needed at that time in my life.

Fun outside of the box. Not Pandora’s, but Tanya’s.

At the end of the trip my Sugar Mama put a wad of cash in my hand, gave me a big hug, and put me in a cab back to the airport. I honestly felt like crying. I didn’t want to though as that would of been embarrassing. And unprofessional.

Truly, I have said a lot of good byes in my life.

They all suck the same.

But I had the adventure of a life time that weekend. It was the height of a Goddess career, I must say. And I will simply never forget it!

{All uncensored material, photos and videos, of this trip…can be found on our fan page:}

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Tanya Marie
Tanya Marie is a kinky sexpert, blogger & writer. Her work focuses primarily on sexuality, sensuality/self love, and her occasional late-night tales of the swinging lifestyle.

She is a 4th wave, intersectional feminist, proud slut, and mommy to two wonderful little girls.